This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
