Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
