it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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