If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
