butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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