Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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