I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize