So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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