apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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