There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize