she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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