Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize