I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
we're making bets on your personal life
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.