May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!