dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
