Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
