you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
