woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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