On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize