with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
