one might say we're banned from that church
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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