we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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