There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
