He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
