I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize