So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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