I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
3pm strippers are depressing
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.