I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.