I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.