"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup