WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.