Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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