You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
