Having a random hookup so left but love u
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
