i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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