I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Can I color on your dick again?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
