Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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