Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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