well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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