Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
What changed your mind?
Being sober
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
