So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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