College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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