Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
