Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
