Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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