that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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