They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Be still, my beating vagina.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
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