So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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