Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
