I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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