The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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