I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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