You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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