OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize