Where are you?
In a non slutty way
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
