Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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