how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
