I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
