she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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