Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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