I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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