I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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