Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize