my being single is dangerous.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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