Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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